Hellooo! It’s me :-)
It’s Mother’s Day today isn’t it? I know because Mummy keeps mentioning it. She says she does that because my big sister forgot it when she was 10 months old despite having remembered Father’s Day when she was 2 months. I don’t really understand how that’s possible?
But I didn’t want to come here to talk about Mummy. Even though, well, it’s the obvious day to do it. She knows I love her because I kiss her shoulder when she hugs me, and because I tell her with all my sounds how happy I am to see her when she comes in in the the morning… and because I bum shuffle over to see her when she comes in at night – and I shuffle as fast as I can. Arms outstretched. That’s how she knows.
And I know she loves me to the moon and back because she tells me a lot. And I know she loves me because she Will Not Stop Hugging Me. And I know she loves me because… well I just know she does.
I actually wanted to talk about Granny. Which is not to leave out Nanny (hello Nanny!) because she is beyond awesome (*blows kiss*)… but I know that there are some things Mummy would like Granny to know, that she’s not always the best at saying. And Mother’s Day seemed like a good time for me to tell Granny instead.
Mummy knows you know I have changed her life beyond recognition. And she wants to thank you for listening to her as she talks about that. What it means. She wants to say thank you for not sharing too many of your own worries as well. Because she’s not sure she could have carried them too. She hopes very much that you talk to someone else about them though as those are thoughts and feelings and emotions… you can’t carry on your own.
She hopes you know she expected to spend more time with you than she has as we grew up. She hopes you know that sometimes it’s just too hard to gather us all up to do something together, but when she does, it’s such a feeling of Winning. She knows that spending time with other people is good for all of us so when she can – when we all have the energy – we do.
But it’s not like she pictured when we became a family of four. Because sometimes the places we want to go… they don’t work for wheelchairs, they don’t accommodate my need to flap my arms with excitement or squeal in delight or sometimes… there are just too many of those annoying stairs. Or hills. And nowhere for me to sleep. And she suspects it’s not like you pictured either. And she is sorry for that. Even though it’s noones fault. Even though it just Is.
And Mummy knows that sometimes you just don’t know what to do. For The Best. And she wants you to know that’s ok too. Because a lot of the time she doesn’t either. She just cobbles it together and hopes. That Winging It t-shirt? She really needs to own one.
But she hopes you know she values you. Values the fact that she can ring you whenever and talk to you about Something. Or nothing. Values the fact that you both weathered the storm of me, when sometimes you might not have done.
And she knows that you know she loves me. She loves me unconditionally. For all the… challenges… the railing at a system not set up for this modern life… She loves me just the way I am. And she doesn’t want you to worry. Because she would. If it was her daughter. But it’s important that you don’t. Because she thinks there are enough people and enough safety nets to catch us. Should we ever need catching.
(Because even though we are bullet proof, it’s always good to have a back up plan).